How God Opened My Eyes
by Breaking-Doll
Summary: True story about my experience with God. I feel encouraged to write it today, maybe because God wants someone out there to read it. God bless, and have a nice day.


**Author's note : In a church I was last in, one person came forward to the podium every week to make a "testimony" about their encounter with God. I guess this is one of the testimonies, a written one because I have more talent in writing than speaking out loud.**

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I was raised in Asian culture, where the parents actually encourage the children to excel academically and, in some families, also musically. Ever since I was a child, my mother paid really close attention to my achievements or failures at school. I started as a really lazy and uncaring child, and then suddenly driven by the determination not to spend the rest of my life cleaning streets, I decided to change my course and became a hardworking pupil.

Everything was satisfying to me and my mother until I ended elementary school. And then I entered the junior high school, and the war over the class ranks intensified. I worked hard in my first year, and by hard I mean really really hard. At the end of the year, though, despite all the hard works, I ranked only 11th of the whole class. Since my family is poor, my mother could only pride in having a smart child. And being 11th in class didn't say that I was smart. People usually pride in being the first three, or in desperate case in the first ten. Needless to say, I was really heartbroken. I remembered that last day of school before the holiday began, when I stood at the balcony of the highest floor and cried my eyes out. I didn't want to come home because then I would have to tell my mother that I "failed" to be one of the bests. Now that I think back, it sure is a stupid thing, to cry about such a trivial matter. But at 11 years old, being the best in class meant the world to me. Anyway, while crying I started whispering to God. I said, "God if you really exist, make me the number one in the class. Just once in my life." I went home after that, and forgot the whole thing.

The holiday came and went, and the first day of the second year started. I was still distraught over my achievement in first year that I didn't bother making any efforts anymore. What's the point? Won't make it to the top anyway. So all I did was going to school every day and doing my homeworks. I didn't bother doing any home studying. In fact, when the exams season started, I literally only gave half the effort I did the previous year. I remember having quite some difficulties during the exams, because I didn't know what answers to write down. I wrote whatever. Then the exam results came out. All nines and tens. Ten is the best mark, by the way. I couldn't believe it. I ended the first trimester being the 7th best in class. Everyone congratulated me. I was simply puzzled. The miracle continued on. Again, I didn't make any effort and I finished the second trimester being 3rd best in class. By the end of the year, I ranked first in the class. My homeroom teacher told the whole class that he checked every single grade I earned in the exams, and truly, he couldn't find any mistake and I really did earn the first rank.

I was overjoyed. My mother was really proud and told everyone she knew how smart her daughter was. Now, you must think that this story is really stupid and it sounds like a whole load of coincidences. Well, I am not done yet.

Third year started. The story about the miraculous me apparently made all the teachers determined to "test" me. On the first day of every subject, all the teachers called me forward and asked me questions they expected the best of the class able to answer. Needless to say, I failed completely on all subjects. Why? I wasn't prepared. I didn't study that well for my exams. It was all God. I didn't earn the first rank at all. I can hardly describe how the whole thing shamed me. My classmates criticized me, saying that I just made them all look like fools. If the best of the class couldn't answer such questions, the class must be incredibly stupid. I was really ashamed of myself.

So I studied hard, very very hard. The first trimester of third year dropped me outside the best ten again, and then slowly I crept back up. Second trimester ended with 8th rank, and the last trimester ended with 3rd rank, this time there was no miraculous good grade at all. I can seriously say that I learned like hell, and by God's grace He allowed me to rise in the ranks.

I remember ranking second in senior high school, during all trimesters, the whole 3 years. Was I disappointed? No. I understood that I ranked second because I couldn't take the burden of being ranked first. I started to notice that teachers and students did tend to torment the best of the class, simply because they expected great things from them. If I am really fit to be the best of the class, surely I would be able to take the burden too. So this was the experience that opened my eyes to God and His actions.

We ask God the whys and whens and wheres and how comes a lot of times. I had the chance to get the answer for one of my whys : "Why am I not the best in class?" In my life I still have a lot of questions unanswered, even now I am struggling with some. But I try, and try to believe that God really loves me, and that He means well. He is not going to pour gold into my hands just because I think I earn it. He will make me work hard and actually earn the gold, which does not happen in a blink of an eye. And in that way, I glorify Him.

God bless, brothers and sisters. I hope my testimony would strengthen your faith. If ever you need an answer desperately, maybe you should ask Him. He would answer, in His own way.


End file.
